


Paper Blades

by Tumbalalaika



Category: Naruto
Genre: Danzou's ass specifically, Gen, Instead Konan kicks ass, My writing is kinda immature, Yahiko doesn't stab himself, just a warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 20:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3263093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tumbalalaika/pseuds/Tumbalalaika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slowly and deliberately Konan willed the paper rose on her clone's head to rise and float down to Nagato. Nagato caught it with his eyes wide.</p>
<p>“What is this?” called Hanzo impatiently. “Kill him already!” Konan ignored him.</p>
<p>“HOLD MA FLOWER BABE” she shouted.<br/>Nagato glanced around, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Then he bent his head. “Igotyoflowerbabe” Nagato mumbled too fast to hear properly.<br/>'Goddammit' Konan thought, 'we practiced this like, a million times'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paper Blades

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, so I haven't actually seen the Sasuke vs Danzou fight so I just googled Danzou and based his attacks on the info I got from there. Also he shouldn't have all those sharingan eyes yet so I didn't factor them in. Aaaand, this is based on that episode in Shippuden where Nagato is recalling his *deep dramatic voice* pain...
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. At this point I think Naruto owns me..
> 
> And please be kind.. My soft, inexperienced heart bruises easily.

 

 

The standoff was in full swing. Tensions were running high. The blank stares of the 'bad guys' just as unnerving as the disbelieving shock on the young, hopeful heroes faces. A gentle breeze swept by, fluttering hair and causing the grass at the edge of the cliff to sway around Konan's frozen feet. Konan, who was standing at the edge of a cliff with her hands bound, a kunai pressed against her throat and with her back turned towards at least 30 hostile elite ninja. To an outsider, things really weren't looking very bright for her at the moment. Below her stood Yahiko and Nagato, anger and fear clouding their respective faces.

 Konan resisted the urge to roll her eyes. _Honestly,_ she was _fine._ Jumping off the edge of the cliff to safety would be _simple_. Flipping the kunai wielder over her shoulder and the edge of the cliff would be _easy_. Hell, getting the paper rose on her head to stab him through the brain would be _childsplay_. And if she did get killed.. Well it didn't really matter seeing as she was currently just a clone made from paper. Her real body wasn't far, just hiding behind a tree a few metres away from where Yahiko and Nagato stood. Those bastards _knew_ she was completely safe so either they were amazing actors or they were stupidly over protective. Only utter idiots would walk into an unknown situation toting along their real bodies. Even if it was for politics.. _Especially_ if it was for politics.

 

Hanzo the Salamander freak, threw a kunai towards Nagato. Konan tensed but relaxed when it landed at his feet. The next words out of Hanzo's mouth had her tensing again even tighter.

 “You! With the red hair. Kill your leader or the girl dies.”

 

Surely, Nagato wouldn't kill Yahiko for the threat of having her clone dispatched? What the fuck was wrong with them? She wasn't an invalid.. Oh! They must think that this is her real body since she hadn't escaped yet.. They're tactic skills were atrocious.. She was just biding her time, trying to get more information..

 

Instead of saying something sensible like “Throw the kunai at that guy about to kill our girlfriend's clone!” Yahiko instead opened his mouth to spurt out some stupidity about Nagato killing his best friend being 'ok'. Konan rolled her eyes for real this time. Ok, screw information. No way was she sacrificing her best friend since forever's life for this stupidity that would probably lead to more stupidity that would lead to stupidity on an epic level. Probably Nagato trying to take over the world or that rogue Konoha ANBU faction doing something unbelievably shitty. Fuck, the whole 'women should act useless to keep men's pride intact' was getting on her nerves. She was going to kick ass and she was going to do it whether it destroyed their egos or not.

 

Konan watched with narrowed eyes as Nagato bent down to pick up the kunai. What the hell was he doing? How to stop him.. Right. She screamed loud and piercing. Immediately all eyes were on her. Nagato dropped the kunai. Good. Yahiko probably would've done something thoughtless and idiotic, like.. like stab himself! Gah, men! Speaking of.. Now was as good of a time as any to do The Thing.

 Slowly and deliberately Konan willed the paper rose on her clone's head to rise and float down to Nagato. Nagato caught it with his eyes wide.

 “What is this?” called Hanzo impatiently. “Kill him already!” Konan ignored him.

 “HOLD MA FLOWER BABE” she shouted.

Nagato glanced around, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Then he bent his head. “Igotyoflowerbabe” Nagato mumbled too fast to hear properly. _Goddammit_ Konan thought, _we practiced this like, a million times,_ Luckily Yahiko decided to save the day. He snatched the flower from Nagato,

“I'VE GOT YO FLOWER BABE, GO KICK THEIR ASSES!!” he screamed and Konan grinned. Then she dissolved into thousands of sheets of paper. The action started.

 

She immediately shaped her paper into razor sharp planes that flew around wounding the Konoha ANBU and killing the Mist ninja who weren't wearing protective gear over their vital organs. Yahiko was forming several seals while Nagato maintained a force field around them. Yahiko slammed his palm into the ground and the cliff crumbled into nothing, the huge rocks trapping those who were too wounded to jump out of the way. The remaining enemy ninja were quick to surround Nagato's force field. At least fifteen ANBU and ten Hanzo supporters.

 The creepy Konoha ninja covered in bandages who seemed to be the ANBU leader was no where to be seen. That guy was.. disturbing, to say the least. Konan was certain she had felt at least two different chakra signatures coming off him, along with the aura of a strong genjutsu. Looking into the Rinnegan daily had made her all but immune to genjutsu. So the fact that this man almost succeeded in casting one over her made him dangerous. That man had to go.

 

Being a ninja required many skills, one of them the skill of hiding. Luckily Konan loved a good game of hide-and-seek. It was something she used to force the boys into all the time. Ninjutsu and Genjutsu just made the game more interesting. Her paper floated around through the trees, searching for that duo of chakra signatures. _Strange_ , she couldn't sense him anywhere. Konan was tempted to go look for him herself. She peered round her tree and saw Nagato spearing a Konoha nin through the chest with one of those weird carbon sticks he could summon from thin air. Besides him, Yahiko was shaping water into blades that cut through Hanzo's forces, soaking them before he formed a few quick hand seals and electrocuted the water. _They're doing fine_ she decided. Then she shunshined away leaving behind the impression she had dissolved into paper.

 

Konan ran over the rubble from the cliff, searching for Bandage Man. In the back of her mind, she could feel her paper floating around, searching for his chakra too. To her right a Hanzo supporter jumped out of the rubble, kunai in hand. Konan had him immobilized by her paper in a heartbeat before throwing a paper blade straight through his heart. Seconds after he fell, Konan felt her chakra senses tingling. She turned around, and there Bandage Man was standing, in all his bandaged glory.

 He sneered cruelly. “Where do you think you're going? _Girl_ ..” he called her girl as if it were an insult. _Oh, so he's that kind of sexist asshole_. She would make sure his death was by her 'girl' hands. Konan didn't deign to answer. Instead, she brought down a torrent of paper blades aimed at his head, predictably he dodged, but the paper changed direction mid dive to follow him. He cursed and dodged around, forming handseals. Like hell she would wait around to see what he would come up with..

 She pulled water from the air (almost all rain nin were water users) and shaped it to swirl around his ankles, distracting him from his hand seals as he tried to keep his footing. She watched him hop about for a bit, avoiding paper blades and trying to shake the water out of his socks. _What to do next_ . Genjutsu was too risky on this guy. She was already using ninjutsu along with her paper bloodline talent. Her Taijutsu wasn't the best.. Mostly because sensei was either too perverted or too sexist to train her properly. Still, she _did_ want to practice a bit. And this man did not seem to be adept enough to actually hurt her. He seemed to mostly rely on Genjutsu and maybe Kenjutsu if he knew how to use that katana of his.

 

Konan walked towards him at leisurely pace. He looked up with his one eye but quickly turned his attention away when a paper blade sliced his cheek, leaving a deep cut that would probably scar. He frowned in thought and Konan tensed, expecting him to play a difficult hand. But then the most unusual thing happened. He started to strip.

 Ok, so maybe it wasn't _that_ strange. Konan had fought a few fights against egotistical idiots who went around shirtless. But this guy was _old_ and he was pulling off his shirt mid-combat even though he was covered in bandages underneath the shirt anyway. Apparently he was going to go all out on the whole nudity thing because he started pulling at the end of his bandage while still hopping in circles to avoid the paper blades. Konan was curious so she pulled her paper back, layering it over her skin as a protection for whatever was happening under that bandage. Mostly she covered her face to keep her initial reaction from showing, it was how she managed to look so serious and aloof all the time. Not that anything could prepare her for the face carved into the shinobi's shoulder.

Ew

Ew

Ew

 

It was white.. And gross. Oh _Kami._

 

Konan had no idea why there was a face carved into Bandage Man's shoulder. She didn't really want to find out. Unfortunately Bandage Man didn't seem to care for her preference. He brought his hands together to form a seal and suddenly there was wood spurting out from the ground all around her, closing in around her head. Her paper reformed into a clone outside the cage which she used the body replacement jutsu on. A split second after the switch the wood caved in on itself, crushing her clone and damaging her chakra charged paper. She pulled the sheets to her feet, lifting her from the ground and keeping her from Bandage Man's wood attacks. He switched tactics and all of a sudden wind was coming out in a great gust from his mouth and Konan was losing control of her flight.

 She stabilized mid-air and started weaving a genjutsu, trying to distract him from the paper creeping towards him through the grass. The genjutsu targeted his one remaining eye, leaving images of burning fields and smoky skies. The genjutsu was weak and obvious, Konan not having the time to implant the heat of the fire and the smell of smoke into his senses. Still, it served it's purpose, her paper slid up his legs, wrapping around his arm and draining the foreign chakra while he warded off the half-formed images.

  _This fight is screaming of success. Yahiko will be so jeal-_ The thought cut off when Bandage Man disappeared in a puff of smoke. A shadow clone or a replacement? Konan pulled the cotton from her sleeves, infusing her chakra until the cotton stiffened into paper. Her chakra was running low, maybe a quarter of her shinobi-average reserves left. She needed Nagato to give her a top up and she needed it fast. Looking around, Bandage Man was nowhere to be seen. Was he waiting or running? Damn- Konan had no clue.

 

Well, not much choice. She pulled her paper into a protective cage around her, then she closed her eyes, concentrating hard on the faint tinge of chakra she had left in her paper rose. She needed to use it to summon Nagato.. But Yahiko was the one who took it. Well, she reasoned, if she summoned Yahiko, Nagato would be quick to follow. Though, she didn't particularly want to deal with the teasing she would receive from Yahiko for needing the extra help. Still, a little teasing was better than dying.

 Decision made, Konan yanked on her paper rose hard, seconds later and Yahiko was flying towards her, his fist closed around the paper rose that was dragging him along faster than anyone could possibly run. When he caught sight of Konan floating in her paper cage, he scowled and promptly let go of the rose, falling to the ground in a heap but rolling on to his feet in the same second.

 

Of course not a moment later he was forced to duck under a katana swing aimed at his head. Whirling around, keeping his balance while his hands formed seals, he quickly pushed his chakra out in a sudden flare. Moisture from the air formed water droplets that quickly attached themselves to Yahiko's skin, clinging to his movement and shielding him from any blade or poison to come his way. The shield formed, Yahiko hopped a few paces back, trying to at least get a glimpse of his attacker before engaging them again. He got his glimpse and promptly bent over to dry heave.

 

Luckily Konan seemed to have anticipated this. He was immediately surrounded by paper and the familiar feel of shifting beneath his feet while the paper floated up prompted him to open his orange eyes and look up into Konan's amused amber ones.

 He shuddered a little. Holy _crap_. That guy had a face in his shoulder. He was also missing an eye. He also had the worst case of uneven tan line Yahiko had ever seen. It was _disgusting._

 

Konan's mouth twitched as she fought to keep her amusement off her face. Yahiko's weak stomach was something both she and Nagato found hilarious. That combined with the fact she just knew what upset Yahiko most was the uneven tan line was enough to send her into hysterics.. If they weren't in the middle of a battle against a skilled opponent she would be rolling on the floor laughing. Unfortunately they were, so she composed herself while Yahiko pulled himself together, then she asked “Where's Nagato?”

“Probably running towards us this very second” he replied with a smile, recalling the panic in Nagato's widened eye when Yahiko had suddenly zoomed out of his forcefield.

“Your opponents?” Konan asked, nose twitching in her effort to not laugh.

“I dunno. Mostly dead” he shrugged flippantly. Konan nodded once in acceptance and then her serene expression morphed into a frown. Before Yahiko even had the chance to ask why, he started to fall.

 

Luckily Konan had only brought them up a couple of metres. He landed on his feet gracefully before whirling around to where Konan should have been on his left. She wasn't there and before he could even glance at the ground he was forced to duck under that damn katana. He jumped back immediately after. No way did he want to get anywhere near Uneven Tan Dude. That guy was just plain gross. Scanning the field in front of him, he saw Konan laying on the ground a few feet away. What happened to her? No time to find out. Wood was spurting from the ground beneath him weaving around trying to pierce his limbs. Damnit. Where was Nagato when you needed him?

 As if summoned by the thought, Nagato flipped over his head and landed in a protective stance in front of him. Or at least attempted to, he overshot and landed stumbling before tripping over a rock and landing flat on his face, his butt sticking in the air. Yahiko snorted. Bad Skin Dude blinked his one eye. Nagato quickly scrambled to his feet, blushing hard. Yahiko just hoped he wouldn't faint from all the blood rushing to his cheeks.

 

Nagato's embarrassment was quickly forgotten when he saw Konan laying in a heap a few feet away. He growled and appeared by her side, crouching beside her and pushing his chakra filled fingertips to her head. A second or two later and she was up and moving. “I ran out of chakra” she explained to Yahiko when he rushed forward to help her get up. She frowned a little and glanced over to where Fugly Dude was waiting around patiently. “He had me under a Genjutsu, it made me misread my chakra levels until I dropped from exhaustion.”

 

Yahiko nodded in understanding then looked at Konan expectantly. Konan understood the look and nodded in agreement. Nagato looked between the two of them cluelessly trying to figure out what they were communicating. Konan seemed to take pity on him as she quickly whispered “Formation B”. Nagato still looked lost so Yahiko rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Never mind. You just make sure we don't die” he said. Then he turned around and started to run towards Fugly. Konan moved with her paper, fast as lightning, zagging around Bandage Dude but not engaging. Wood spurted from the ground towards Yahiko but Konan was there to cut through the branches, leaving a clear path for Yahiko to charge. Meanwhile Konan's paper was burrowing underground, digging through towards Bandage Dude's feet. Nagato stood on the sidelines, watching with his eyes wide and hands clasped. Honestly, he was way too gentle and clueless for a shinobi.

 Yahiko was three steps or half a second away from Fugly Dude. Fugly Dude had his Katana at the ready, blade angled to swing at Yahiko's head. Now was the moment of truth. In a flash, Konan had her paper fly up from the ground Fugly Dude stood on and slice through the belt holding his jounin pants up. Fugly Naked Dude instinctively reached down to pull his fallen pants up and that was when Yahiko speared the kunai straight through the face on his shoulder.

 

Fugly Dude howled in pain and fell onto his back, mostly naked with a kunai buried deep in the mouth on his shoulder. Paper curled around his wrists and ankles, restraining him before the faces of the three Rain ninja entered his line of vision.

 

Konan raised an eyebrow at the sight of Bandage Man's sharingan eye patterned boxers. Yahiko turned around and vomited at the sight of Fugly Dude's half brown, half white, hairy legs. Nagato frowned puzzledly at the rinnegan eyes printed on the waistband of his opponent's underwear.

 

With a wave of her hand, Konan's paper covered up his legs and everyone including Bandage Dude gave a small sigh of relief. Then his face twisted into an ugly sneer. “What do you children want from me?” he spat out angrily.

Nagato cocked his head to the side and Konan's other eyebrow joined it's twin up in her hairline. Yahiko paused his dry heaving to give a loud snort before resuming again with a particularly violent wave.

 “Well?” Bandage Dude demanded angrily, as his shoulder face frowned.

 

“I think our goal was to kill you” Nagato explained a little serenely. He gestured towards Bandage Dude's shoulder “but that complicated things”.

 Konan nodded in confirmation and then they were silent while Yahiko used his chakra to pull water out of the air to clean himself up.

 

Nagato didn't really know what to think of the situation. Before them lay a fallen opponent, completely at their mercy. He didn't like it. Killing the man now would be too similar to what had happened to his parents all those years ago. An execution, not a battle. Although this man wasn't helpless or innocent. He had tried to kill them. Konan and Yahiko. If he had succeeded, Nagato would not have hesitated to end his life swiftly but painfully. But he hadn't, and he was lying humiliated at their feet. Was that punishment enough? Nagato didn't know anything about this man's sins. Surely it wasn't too worse than any other shinobi around.

 

 

Konan wanted to kill the man in front of her. He was evil. She could feel it. The slimy darkness just oozing from his personality was something she had sensed in few shinobi and none of them were pleasant. Unfortunately she also knew that Nagato didn't like killing helpless people and Yahiko was too good natured to not try and give this man a chance, as long as he asked for it. That meant it was up to her to get rid of him and to get rid of him fast. But Konan also didn't really have the stomach for a cold-blooded kill. That is, until the idiot started talking.

 

“Let me guess, I stole one of your siblings, or killed your parents, or the eye sitting in a jar in my house was the eye of your lover or you're a Senju enthusiast angry about me stealing his powers” the man was bragging snidely, sounding proud and spiteful despite the fact he was lying on his back in only his very discriminating underwear.

 

Konan wanted to face palm, Yahiko was frowning disturbed and Nagato was releasing killing intent. Apparently something the man had said had gotten to him and now the idiot was going to die for it.

 

Bandage man looked towards the source of all the killing intent and his eye widened perceptibly. “Is that-Is that the Rinnegan?” he asked, dropping his haughty facade. Not a moment after the words were out of his mouth, Konan was crouched beside his head, her kunai tip grazing his jugular. Nagato's Rinnegan was not something they wanted to become public knowledge. Their names in the bingo books were discriminating enough. Konan, The Paper Blade, Yahiko, The Elemental Master and Nagato, The Carbon Wielder. Nagato's Bingo Book name was something Yahiko had laughed over for weeks.

 What was Konan to do? She definitely needed to kill him. This man was scum. Trash. Apparently he had stolen Senju DNA and had eye balls lying around in his house. He also kidnapped children and killed people's parents. So she turned towards the man. His eye was widened in fear and his mouth was open, gaping. “Your name?” she asked.

“Shimura Danzo” he rasped.

“Any last words, Shimura Danzo-san?”

“You can't kill me”

She pushed the kunai through his throat.

 

As The Paper Blade, The Elemenal Master and The Carbon Wielder walked away from Bandage Dude's burning body they talked about stupid things, not realising they had just completely altered the course of fate. Uzushio wouldn't fall. The Kyuubi wouldn't attack Konoha. The Uchiha would live on. Orochimaru would stay loyal. And Uzumaki Naruto would have a nice, fun and peaceful life.

 

As our young heroes walked away, Konan asked, “So what do you want to do now?”

“Can we- can we get manicures?”

“Huh?! Why?”

“I really- I really want to paint my nails dark green”

“What the fuck?”

And Konan's can be dark blue”

“Oookaay, that sounds reasonable I guess”

“And yours can be red”

“What??!! No!! What the hell Nagato??”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this all in one sitting. I then proceeded to read it out loud to my three siblings. My ten year old brother proclaimed it 'kinda cool'. My eight year old sister giggled a lot at certain parts. My seven year old brother just looked at me blankly then asked 'why is everyone so stupid?'...
> 
> So not very encouraging. Whatever, I'm fifteen, what fifteen year old writes well anyway? No- don't answer that..


End file.
